Old Scoops

Senpai's Scoop

Here's where we'll track Senpai's old scoops. The archives of Centerville Road Gazette run deep, and our best CNN student news reporter has history to tell...

Senpai's Scoop

Senpai Maxwell analyzes the performances of every team each week. The highs, the lows, the upsets, the steamrolls. There might be a story developing within your lineup. What will Senpai say about YOUR team?

Comrades and Cohorts,

The debate has raged on for thousands of years. Every chronic gambler (Tiki), every mathematician (Tom Benjamin), and maybe even you the reader has an opinion. We're talking numbers more specifically, the long time controversial debate of numbers; odd numbers vs. even numbers. However, to end the debate quickly, odd numbers will always remain supreme. This past week, which again, was a microcosmic of this season, can only be described as ”odd”. Let's focus on some important odd numbers from week 11. With the recent removal of divisions, a clear picture of the best 7 teams is developing. Week 11 also featured 3 teams coming off substantial winning streaks in 3 and 5 games respectively. For Aston Dookey, claiming his 3rd straight victory behind 39 and sunny from the god himself, led to the 3rd straight loss for Shieldsy Show. Our second game to watch last week saw Saquon Barkley Enthusiast claim his 5th straight win. From Enthusiast owner, “Despite the rough 2-4 start, my guys have handled adversity well all season, we're all looking forward to a potential playoff matchup vs Patty Cake.” Meanwhile for Cake, he stands as our other team on a substantial winning streak, standing at 3. Last week's final game to watch between Gibby and Snead saw Gibby steamroll his opponent to a 47 point victory! Behind 29 points from Bo Nix and Cooper Kupp. Behind the combined 3 points of Gabe Davis and Scary Terry, Snead stood no chance.. WHEW that was a lot of odd numbers, let's move onto some more even numbers in week 12!

Week 12 rolls right in with a hot and cold start on Thursday! With the first snow game of the year, it was a great start for the week! With three games remaining in the regular season, playoffs loom largely. However, what everyone wants to know, who will be visiting the cage next year? Week 12 features our first “toilet bowl” game of the year, with both teams fighting tooth and nail to keep any hopes alive. At 1-10, the land has recently begun reading scripture, hoping that faith can save his season. For Lets Go Golfing, in a season that can be defined with disappointments and a pile of “mid”, he's shooting for the shit, in this ever so important toilet bowl game! With every week becoming more and more important, there will likely be substantial matchups every week. To minimize even more reading for you (honestly kudos if you made it this far) we will briefly touch on more games. The highest ranking game of the week features Show taking on Patty Cake. Playoff hopefuls Gibby, Njorkin, and Under Rayted all battle teams featuring a 7-4 record or better this week. Meanwhile, the Empire and BenDover coming off respective losing streaks are still right in the thick of the playoff hunt and remain some of the league's scariest teams.

Much love - Senpai.

Colleagues and friends,

We're officially in the home stretch of the 2024 Wolves of the Rad season! With teams rolling their way into week 11, the fight for the playoffs is in full swing! Currently, 13/14 possible teams are still in contention for a spot but, after this week the league should have a clearer picture of potential playoff teams. Now, despite his official elimination from the playoffs, team owner Jacob “not so promising land” Leitner remains optimistic that his ever looming visit to the cage might be cut short, thanks in large part to a recent trade. Last week also featured one of the more interesting turns of events this season. All seven teams from the NFC found themselves on the winning side of there matchups meaning, the AFC in turn found themselves winless. In what has almost been a microcosmic of this season, many have pegged the NFC as the far superior conference. Last week's games to watch turned out to be quite the doozy! Patty Cake pulled out the nine point win over Under Rayted behind a historic performance from star wide receiver Jamar Chase. Many, including myself would've immediately waved the white flag but, Under Rayted lived up to his name in almost historic fashion! Meanwhile on the west coast, Freako Collins and Njorkin my peener had another exciting matchup! Despite the final score, both teams scored similarly across the board with an iconic “double trouble” goose egg from their starting wide receivers. However, thanks to the recent breakout of Bengals running back Chase Brown and the dominant showing from Call of Duty fanboy Kyler Murray, Freako got down, dirty, and nasty to pull out the dub!

Week 11 features a trio of important matchups including teams on the rise, the potential fall, teams battling for their season and teams looking to lock up their playoff spot! As your humble writer and servant (I am not the editor however), I shall only briefly touch on the recent performances of my team. So yeah, I been busting ass the past two weeks, on everything that 171 burger I gave out should let people know that the champ is not going down easy. Meanwhile, his/mine (third person?) opponent Shieldsy Show, coming off two straight losses, is looking to bounce back and remain the one seed in the AFC. Both teams at 7-3 feature our highest ranking matchup of the week! Meanwhile, our second and third games to watch feature two 4-6 teams facing off vs. two 6-4 teams facing off. With four straight wins, Saquon Barkley Enthusiast has completely turned his season around! With yet another trade this past week, he finds himself as one, if not the hottest team in the league. Behind his three headed monster in AJ Brown, Barkley, and Bijan Robinson he is aiming for a FIFTH straight win. His opponent BenDover, coming off an extremely tough .6 loss to Let's Go Golfing held several player meetings throughout the week in preparation for this ever so important matchup! Lookout for the potential return of his two star wide receivers as well! The final matchup of the week features our two 4-6 teams, Gibby and Snead. For both teams, week 11 and likely every week going forward, is do or die! Snead, who has seen a transition of power this season, has bounced back in somewhat impressive fashion thanks in large part to his “team mentality”, with a roster featuring very minimal star power. For Gibby, a team that has battled injuries and underperformances all year, he's finally looking to turn the page especially with the looming return of Chiefs running back Isiah Pacheco.

Much love - Senpai.

Election Edition: Senpais Scoop!

Left wingers, right wingers, and everyone in between….

Welcome to the third edition of Senpais Scoop! Week Nine has officially ended just like the hopes of several of our league mates. The race is officially on for the dog cage! With a three headed race between The Promised Land, Let’s Go Golfing, and Ruggs driving class. Each team finds themselves fighting week in and week out to avoid the “doghouse.” Driving Case, with 2 owners, Halsey and EBABY could potentially force the leagues hands to purchase a substantially bigger dog cage and/or another separate cage. Needless to say, each one of these respected teams is “campaigning” for any hope. Last week's game to watch, featuring Enthusiast (Commish) vs. Show (Shieldys) was once again, a not so close matchup. Show, taking his second loss of the season, is looking to bounce back against another struggling team in Snead. For the commish, this was his quest for a third straight win! After another massive trade for star running back Bijan Robinson, the commissioner is continuing his turnaround season!

This week features two games to look out for! Patty Cake, led by owners Zion and Shadique travel east to take on Under Rayted, led by owner Ray. For cake, currently leading the NFC and dominating the league in points scored, is looking to widen the gap and grab the one seed! For Under Rayted, coming off two straight losses and facing some tough bye week decisions, he looks to “flip the house” on his season. The final matchup to watch this week features two 5-4 teams! Peener and Collins (led by owners JJ and Jesse respectively) face off this week in an ever important matchup to potentially determine the fate of their seasons! For both owners, they have struggled all season with injuries and up and down starts. However, both at 5-4 and still find themselves entrenched in playoff contention!

As always, our league is built on the 4 F’s. Family, friends, football and fear! Throughout major life changes, elections, historical events, or anomalies, this league survives. Shoutout to all of you for your commitment and love for not just fantasy but for the friend group!

Much love - Senpai.

Colleagues and Leaguemates,

Welcome to the second edition of Senpais Scoops! Last week offered a picture-perfect view into the chaos of our league! The game to watch, featuring the Evil Empire vs. BenDover, started off as an enticing matchup but quickly turned south. With a commanding 43-point victory, EVILLLLLLLLLL Empire, backed by his star players, saw his season turnaround in a substantial fashion. Many league members have voiced their expressive opinions about the Empire and his ability to “persuade” his peers into questionable decisions. Backed by the return of CMAC and his ever-growing thirst for trade dominance, the league has been put on notice regarding the Empire's shadow movement. Last week also featured several major upsets. The Promised Land was able to achieve his first win of the season behind a great performance from the Falcons offense. Congratulations to him and his (not) quest to make it to the cage! Meanwhile, don’t look now, but Need for Snead has slowly been finding themselves higher and higher in the rankings each week. Putting up another massive win this weekend against Under Rayted, a team that many had pegged for the playoffs.

This week's matchup to watch features our highest-ranked team, Shieldsy Show (7-1), taking on Saquan Barkley Enthusiast (4-4). Shieldsy Show has only one loss on the season and looks to continue his dominance, as his reputation grows as one of the better regular season teams in league history. For Enthusiasts, coming off 2 straight wins and the conviction to take down anyone in his path, he goes as his star player goes, and suffice to say, his star player has been on a roll!

-- Senpai.

Hello Proletariat and Bourgeoisie,

Welcome to the very FIRST EDITION of Senpai’s Scoop!! I am very excited to be spearheading this freshly introduced weekly article, which will cover a variety of topics surrounding fantasy football! However, when I accepted this job (no pay at all) (I should be getting paid, right?) I knew, most importantly, that I wanted to cover YOU, our league mates. As one of the founding members of Wolves of The Rad and former commish (fuck you, Jordan), I have had the wonderful opportunity to watch this league grow into the powerhouse it is now. The one constant through all these years has been you guys and all the terrible yet great storylines and stories our league has. I mean, I bet most of you remember or heard of when Jake Hudson drafted Larry Fitz in round 1…. Or how about how Ben was one of the worst fantasy players ever despite his passion and knowledge for the sport (sorry, Ben.) Going forward, every week, there will be an in-depth summary and analysis for each of our 14 teams. Including rivalries and blowouts;) With that being said….

Welcome to Week 8 of Wolves of The Rad fantasy season!!
There seems no more fitting a place to start than injuries. Suffice it to say, this season has been an absolute roller coaster for injuries, and week 7 provided much more of the same. Injuries to Tampa Bay's star WRs have left teams Freako and Snead facing even more uphill battles, as the injury bug and general retardation (Snead) have stricken their respective camps deeply. 8/14 league members currently find themselves with a record over .500 as the second half of the season is sure to end down to the wire once again. With the recent news of a D Hop trade and the potential return of CMC, the Evil Empire is looking like a team to watch in the second half. Meanwhile, BenDover is coming off 2 straight wins with a deep roster. It so happens that they match up this week, which certainly looks like the game of the week! Be on the lookout for more updates and storylines each week as the second half of the season unfolds, and don’t forget the champ is still here.

-- Senpai.